Showing posts with label men. Show all posts
Showing posts with label men. Show all posts

Saturday, July 9, 2016

Ananda Leadership, Succession & Membership: Male and Female

Many years ago Swami Kriyananda had the perspicacity to appoint couples as the leaders of the core Ananda communities. I don't have a global perspective on just how unusual this might be in today's world, but from my own experience I can't think of any other organizations that have such a structure (except "mom and pop" businesses). About the only explanation I recall Swami Kriyananda (SK) offering was the obvious one: citing the benefit of balancing male and female energies.

SK frequently praised and acknowledged the rising visibility and influence of women as both an antidote and a solution to the dangers of too strongly a masculine one. Warfare is no longer a viable response to conflict for reasons that I don't need to dwell upon.  Having a couple in a leadership position represented his recognition of the need for a feminine influence. Recently in a talk given by Swami Kriyananda's hand picked successor, Nayaswami Jyotish Novak (who, with his wife, Devi Novak, are Ananda's spiritual directors worldwide), Jyotish commented on how this leadership model is well suited to the need of our age.

Recently, a female student asked me, "Why are there mostly women in this class?" I was nonplussed because I don't really have a factual answer. There's no doubt in my mind (absent actual statistical facts), that the majority of students in Ananda classes and amongst our members are women. Nor is this unusual in "New Thought" organizations or in yoga and meditation organizations (or so I would assume).

My own experience over 39 years as a member of Ananda is overwhelmingly that women jump to accept and successfully carry out responsibilities 2:1 over men.  Men, and I include myself, will more likely do so if it's their idea and if they can run it. (Mind you, once in charge, most people, women included, take complete control: for better or less.) I add my experience to that expressed all too commonly by both men and women that women are more energetic, articulate, and perceptive. There are some skills and talents that men, by tradition, or women, by upbringing, excel. Whether due to nature or nurture is of no interest to my thoughts today. I am just saying that in group dynamics, especially perhaps in volunteer or nonprofit type organizations, women leap to the top naturally. More naturally cooperative and harmonious (or so it seems to me), women fit the need of today's culture.

But is this unilaterally positive? No, it isn't! Men and women, and now I wish to move towards the terms, male and female ENERGIES (which inhabit BOTH male and female "bodies"), are simply two sides of the same coin. One simply CANNOT debase the other without debasing him/her self. We need BOTH! Let me explain this in terms that our founder, Swami Kriyananda, did: both by direct experience (that changed his life, and mine, and that of thousands) and in principle.

From time to time, you see, he would comment on the differences in male and female leadership qualities and styles. He rued the fact that Paramhansa Yogananda's organization, Self-Realization Fellowship Inc (Los Angeles, CA) fell into the hands of an all (or mostly)-female Board of Directors not long after Yogananda's passing and continuing, more or less, to the present time. He described how in that organization men were treated as second-class citizens towards whom it was assumed any personal initiative was rooted in the "evil-ego" that men seemed endowed with since birth. Though the women leaders couldn't change the fact that their guru, Yogananda, appointed men to the positions as public teachers, the women were ever watchful and suspicious that if any of them excelled at teaching that it would inflate their ego and a schism was sure to follow. Hence when not teaching, the men were assigned to physical labor tasks such as landscaping or construction; their living quarters were second rate compared to the women. The decades-long leader of that organization was quoted as saying matter of factly, "Women are more spiritual than men."

In addition to jealously guarding their authority from every conceivable, real or imagined threat, the board of directors controlled and ruled upon every minute detail of ashram and organizational life. Little scope was given to anyone else. The unspoken view of public service was, "Let them come to us. We'll decide what we give them (in spiritual teachings), though few are as ready as we who have given our lives to this work." It took fifty years to edit and publish Yogananda's second greatest work (his commentary on the Bhagavad Gita) when he, himself, in the last year of his life announced that it would be published that very same year! In instituting a twelve year lawsuit to "destroy" Ananda (as the judge viewed it), they considered Ananda an interloper who dared to "use" Yogananda's teachings for its own purposes! Admittedly, in the meantime, they developed their lands and properties to an exquisite level of beauty: something we and thousands, as visitors and pilgrims, enjoy to this day.

In SK's years there (the 1950's) as a monk, and indeed, even as one of the leaders (being for a time both Vice-President and a board member), but always being outnumbered by the older women leaders, he found that his expansive ideas and energies were consistently thwarted and worse, viewed with suspicion by them. Indeed, it was no small measure the key factor to his being summarily dismissed from that organization in 1961. We are grateful for that because although his greatest test, his labor gave birth to Ananda.

Consider it from their power of view: the power and magnetism of Paramhansa Yogananda. Those female disciples who served his ministry all those many years were understandably no match, in their role as successors, for Yogananda's dynamic energies. No doubt they were, in fact, somewhat exhausted by Yogananda's ceaseless projects and tireless campaigns. This is not a criticism but an explanation for why, after Yogananda's passing, they "closed  the gate" and turned the "place" into a museum. (Admittedly an exaggeration, here, but only somewhat; nonetheless, their devotion to him cannot be questioned.)

Jump forward to Ananda present day: Swami Kriyananda, tireless campaigner, lecturer, writer, and inspiration to thousands, is now gone. Working as we, the first generation, did during his lifetime to support his ministry, we are no match for Kriyananda's dynamic and creative will power and attunement to Yogananda.

Preservation of his works and memory is, in fact, an appropriate priority for us at this time. We have an obligation to preserve the traditions, music, customs, and policies established by our founder. The vast reservoir of music, books, lectures, and other writings left to us by him could keep us busy for a lifetime extracting and adapting their inspirational and practical value in our service to others.

Fortunately, we have a distinct advantage over the pattern that befell SRF because Swami Kriyananda trained and encouraged us to be creative and expansive. He appointed couples as the primary leaders of Ananda. Since his passing in 2013 there's been a veritable explosion of growth and creative endeavors throughout Ananda worldwide.

Nonetheless, it is a distinct possibility that the gender imbalance either simply reflects the new phase of preservation that follows Kriyananda's passing or will influence Ananda's directions towards consolidation and preservation of what has been established. Either way, it seems to me that it will be a long time before anyone has the energy and magnetism to make any substantive contributions or initiate new directions to Swamiji's legacy. This is not necessarily a problem; at least not yet.

A balance of energies is necessary even if minor fluctuations naturally occur. When Kriyananda would speak of the gender differences in terms of leadership he would say things like the male influence tends to be expansive and impersonal; the female, personal and nurturing. And, he would add: we need both. To use an outdated archetypal image: someone has to go out and hunt to support the home, and someone has to stay home to protect it and its offspring.

With our modern awareness and sensibilities we can now distinguish between the biology of a person and their "energy." "Male" and "female" in this discussion refers not to bodies but to the dominant direction of interest of a person's energy. At the same time, we are asking for trouble if we pretend that biology doesn't influence consciousness! (Consider the world of entertainment and advertising to see the emphasis placed upon gender distinctions and traits in attracting success and sales.)

In Ananda's current phase of consolidation and preservation, appropriate though it is, an invisible, magnetic shield silently says, "This is what Ananda is." Implied in this is the even less conscious thought: "don't think to change it." It is as though we could be saying: "Ananda has come of age and is maturing in our self-identity and confidence around who we are. We have arrived for we now possess the spiritual wealth of our founder: his attunement with Paramhansa Yogananda!"

In contradistinction to the statistics of the gender makeup of Ananda membership, it is worth noting that our rapidly changing culture surrounding gender awareness makes it possible for women to confidently and openly express male energies, and, for men to express feminine energies. (I am not referring to sexual orientation.) To some degree, this potentially undermines the observable statistical imbalance and may, in fact, suggest that there's very little imbalance. But I have no way to measure that and my own experience of people is that most of us are distinctly influenced by biology.

Nonetheless, since we have no equivalent "Swami Kriyananda" to embody the expansive public service energies that are part and parcel of our "work," we, left to our own tendencies, might too easily prefer to shepherd our existing flocks with the care and compassion such duties require (and thus, unaware of the consequences of our actions, perhaps "closing the gate" behind us to protect them).

During his lifetime and in the building of Ananda, Swami Kriyananda instinctively established a dynamic, yet fruitful, "tension" between caring for our "home" (the various residential communities and the needs of our members) and engaging in public service; between nurturing our membership and serving the public. His books tended, generally, to reach out to the broadest segment of the public with interesting and varied topics that could show the underlying message of unity and spirituality beneficial to all through meditation, philosophy, parenting, marriage and much more. By contrast, those to whom he appointed to lead the communities that he had established were given the role to tend and nurture the needs and spiritual welfare of individual members. Outreach, though important, was and generally still is limited to a local service area and directed towards students and members.

Not long after Swami's death, Ananda's worldwide leadership affirmed our commitment to outreach and public service. Recently this was reaffirmed and focused towards SK's successors: Jyotish and Devi Novak. But that's easier said than done because our generation of leaders does not have the public recognition or karmic role of SK. Not surprisingly, the resources committed to outreach lag behind the resources committed to what we are used to making as our priority: the maintenance and growth of the communities, and the training and support of our members. Perhaps this is as it needs to be for now. We can coast for a while on the lifelong public service of our founder. But just how long?

In all fairness (returning now to the gender identity of Ananda members), yoga and meditation probably does attract more women than men. Perhaps our statistics are in line with the reality everywhere at the present time. Nonetheless, the frequency and clarity with which Swami Kriyananda commented upon the need for male energy should be a warning to us. A true leader is compassionate and understanding and good with people. But we cannot expect all future leaders to express all aspects of the ideal leader, and certainly not in their younger years as they are learning and growing. A potential leader might prove, at first, to be a gadfly of new ideas (just as SK was long ago) or even critique. (Just as some of the brightest students in school are not those who are the teacher's pet.)

It is true, as he, himself wrote, that the devotee (male and female) must begin the spiritual search with qualities of humility, devotion and receptivity, but strength and will power, too, are essential to spiritual growth. Given the dynamics of cultural conditioning in modern times, and as Swami Kriyananda found himself a victim of, it is all too easy to assume that softer qualities are spiritual and outward flowing energies are egotistical. Easy, in part, because so often true: but not always!

For, in fact, the emergent form of spirituality rejects the historic tradition that expansiveness is born of ego. The time for rejecting the world in the name of spirituality is rapidly vanishing. The time for "bringing Spirit to "work" in the world" is gaining acceptance by virtue of the need in our times. Men and women of greater awareness express this instinctively. But the old habits cling and resist as well.

In the last two weeks or so, and taking place at the Ananda Community and Center near Assisi, Italy, was a gathering of younger members, many of whom have leadership potential for the future. Ananda IS making an effort to nurture and recognize leadership qualities. SK taught us that in group dynamics and organizational activities, leadership, while not better or more important than other roles, is, nonetheless, a necessary talent, role and skill. Given the positive changes in culture and consciousness away from hierarchy, leadership energies tend to be mistrusted even if the role remains essential to any successful venture. We must avoid that inviting view, born of an extreme affirmation of egalitarian principles. "All men are created equal" is a pleasing affirmation (applicable, truly, to our potential) but quite obviously is untrue in actual fact.

It is my hope and prayer, and expectation, that the present leadership of Ananda, wherever situated, will have the wisdom (and the remembrance of the example of our founder, Swami Kriyananda) to recognize and nurture leadership qualities in those men and women inspired to serve the public work of Yogananda in the world today and in the years to come.

In thoughtful recollection,

Nayaswami Hriman

Friday, May 11, 2012

Men: How to Survive Mother's Day

Dear Fellow Men,

This article is for men only, please. So, before we begin one must use the ancient mudra, “tongue-in-cheek.” It requires entering the breathless state first wherein no critical remarks or sharp retorts are possible. So, now, let’s begin:

Yes, it’s Mother’s Day again and we’d be wise to stock up on flowers, chocolates, and thoughtfulness and be ready to dispense the stuff like, well, candy. It’s practically a cliche to say that this “new age” is becoming an age of women. The cliche further adds that “It’s about time!” And we don’t argue, do we? In fact, we remain silent in the great and long tradition of men everywhere and in all times, golden age or dark age, notwithstanding.(1)

You see our secret weapon is silence even as theirs is loquaciousness. A woman with a three-inch tongue can destroy a man over six-feet tall! As women free themselves from oppression by men, so we men must learn to free ourselves from the oppression of women. The latter takes of course a different form than ours over them.

It is commonly asserted that women are, by nature, more intelligent than men and I would be the last to argue with that, even if I would qualify it in certain ways. But why quibble? What the world needs today are people who want to relate to one another, to understand and appreciate one another, to respect each other, to cooperate harmoniously, and to create hope for a better world. And women are, for whatever reason or none at all, simply more inclined in that direction than men. The need for this is patently obvious and it is a better solution than war and ruthless competition or galloping consumption of resources. It is pointless and stupid to respond otherwise.

It doesn’t change the fact that I prefer doing tasks that I can complete myself and that don’t require me to depend upon, satisfy, communicate with, or otherwise need permission from anyone else. Which is why I am writing this dumb article. And I don’t think I am alone in this tendency. Sure it sounds egotistical and sure men are often described that way. But on this score I will stand my ground and say egotism is definitely 50:50. I simply find my own satisfaction and creativity and ability to get my ego out of the way enhanced in such circumstances. Working with others, especially in groups, for me, reinforces ego-active tendencies and brings out competition or criticism. From observing women, I would say, for them, it’s just the opposite, speaking of course (as I must), generally.

This new rising consciousness is a grass-roots movement. That is why in positions of worldly power the influence of women is less obvious. We don’t yet have, for example, a woman president in the United States. But it isn’t far off, I’m sure we would agree. But on the grass roots level I see around me that the change of status and roles are affecting both men and women.

Women are generally happy about their new found freedom and men are too, except when we are unemployed or earning less than our wives and lovers. House husbands are increasingly common and most are very happy with the opportunity. TIME Magazine ran a recent front-page lead article on how the earnings of women are outpacing those of men.

While we congratulate women on their rising status and freedom, we, as men, need to figure out where we go from here. No more bison to bring down, no more bread to bring home triumphantly at night to the admiring gaze of our womenfolk and dependent children! Ah, a sad day has dawned. Or, has it?

Our secret weapon, then, to return to our theme today, is silence. I don’t mean cold, aloof, indifference. I mean something far more elevated. Let me explain in a roundabout way (heck, I hate short articles, don’t you?).

With the freedom of self-expression that women have achieved, the initial benefit for men was a lot more available women who were eager to explore and experiment outside the dreaded commitment that used to be called marriage. It was, and remains, a candy store for some men and women. But this kind of so-called freedom comes at a high price for both men and women: whether emotionally or health-wise, or in terms of true satisfaction or happiness. Easy to enter a casual relationship but difficult to withdraw from one; then there’s those nasty and dreaded diseases. Well I could go on but in fact this part is pretty much outside my own lifestyle and life experience. But I am going somewhere, trust me.

The rising visibility of women is on all levels: from the obviously sexually titillating level to roles of leadership in business, politics and religion. This high level of activity and interaction has made women much more “in your face” for men. Gone are the armies of men-only, whether in the military, the club house, at the shop or factory, office, or corporate boardrooms.

So the first phase of this new reality can be seen in the two-steps forward, one step back evolution of rules of engagement (now called “etiquette”) in the workplace and in every place (since men and women commingle practically everywhere, even dorms and bathrooms in some places). Learning respect, professional conduct and how to be friendly without being too friendly, these are all new patterns for both men and women. But, not surprisingly, this is generally easier for women than for men. And this is where our secret weapon has to begin its hidden (from women) research and development, top-secret phase.

You see, no matter how much society and its rules insist upon equality in all matters we can never simply erase the primordial powers of magnetism and attraction between men and women. But, now, as much as in every other century or society, we have to find new ways to re-direct and circumscribe (or is it circumcise?) this powerful force. In the past these temptations, urges, and otherwise uncontrollable actions were limited by limiting contact between men and women. But that can no longer work.

Let me pause and say that I am not merely describing sexual urges, or even simply romantic ones. That would be downright silly. Studies have shown that even babies or toddlers may behave differently in the presence of the opposite sex.

No, what I mean is this: how do men avoid becoming, well, let’s say “effeminate” in this new world where men and women are equals? Forget the idea that being equals means anything literally. Yes, you might have the same title, position, pay, or rank as a woman who is your peer, but your influence and behavior around each other will, social myths about equality notwitstanding, will be marked by certain characteristic attributes (speaking, of course, generally).

Ok, now listen: during the last few decades of what is called Feminism, women tended to simply imitate the behavior and attitudes of men. Then it began to dawn on women, those who “made it” into the mens’ world, that such behavior is a betrayal of their own, innate tendencies and contributions to the workplace etc.

So, we, too, then, as men must seek to discover our own traits that are ours to contribute. That is the point of this article. But I’m not going to explore those traits because I still have another point to make.

We come back, then, to silence. As women may be quick witted, fluid, adaptable and good socially, men can learn to be adept at being non-reactive to what can only be called (at great expense to one’s life and limb, publicly) the more feeling and mood “rich” environment in which we live, work, and play. To be men, we need to be thoughtful, observant, reflective, and then, when we act, including making a decision, to do so decisively with quiet, firm conviction. We need to draw upon principles and ideals in our language and action; to behave according to what is right duty, not desire or mere feelings. To avoid being self-indulgent in word or action. We should keep our emotional distance from women, being considerate as duty and circumstances dictate, but avoiding familiarity, or “back-slapping” good ‘ol boy behavior when there are no longer any “good ‘ol boys” around.

We need distance and perspective taken with the sole intention of acting, thinking, and feeling according to the highest standards of principle that we can relate and aspire to. We need to be self-disciplined in habits of food, exercise, continuing education and improvement of our skills. We need to become good listeners. We should aspire to be wise and to understand that kindness and compassion are the wisest principles of all.

In sexual matters we need to be self-disciplined as well; appropriate, certainly; committed with integrity to a meaningful, mutually serviceful, respectful relationship. We should avoid making fools of ourselves in such matters. If we treat our wife and her body with respect and tenderness, she will respect us more, or if she prefers lascivious behavior, well, maybe that’s not the right relationship. We shouldn’t encourage our wife or girlfriend to dress in revealing ways, whether in private or public, for we sew the seeds for the cancer of familiarity, moods, and disrespect. Even at home, and yes, in bed, we should be modest in dress and comportment. The Achilles heel for men in respect to women is the eternal temptation of sex.  



Whereas women can be insatiable in their need for attention and interaction from men, men tend to be insatiable in their thoughts about and attraction to women sexually. Both benefit from being more secure in themselves and less in need of approval from one another.


As women come into their own in our society, men, too, should come into our own center of Being. The “real man” is self-contained and unemotional while yet possessing the deep commitment to and passion for truth and high ideals, including helping and protecting others.


The silence of which I speak is, ultimately, derived from the practice of meditation and prayer. To see our source of strength as coming from God, from a higher Power, brings both wisdom and perspective. To avoid one's strength (whether physical, mental or emotional) becoming the instrument of rank egotism, a man needs to be receptive to the Divine Will. It would be especially helpful for a man to approach God in the form of the Divine Mother. 


It would also be helpful to view women as mothers and sisters, even when their behavior or appearance is sexually alluring. Watch your thoughts and notice where the eyes (and mind) roam. A woman who flaunts her allure reveals only her own insecurity, debasing her own soul and inviting men to grovel in the mud of maya with her. See such, instead, as a mere child, ignorant and lost, but, of course, keep your distance mentally and otherwise. Silence. Distance. Wisdom. Self-restraint. Calm. Kind.


What we seek in our desire for companionship with a woman is to be only truly found within our own souls as children of God. To yoke our actions and intentions to the chariot of truth and to be obedient to the dictates of a compassionate, divinely inspired wisdom is to become channel of strength and grace to others: in your marriage, family, workplace and community.


So, men, deliver your flowers and candy with a smile and a gentle, respectful, and grateful kiss for Divine Mother who has given us life and love as One and the Same!


Aum! Nayaswami Hriman



[1] Withdrawing my tongue, momentarily, let me say that I, too, welcome the rising influence of women in the world today as not only beneficial to humanity at large but necessary for human survival (not to mention the world and its teeming life of plants and animals everywhere).